THE BOVINE METROPOLIS POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE*
PROMOTING A FUNNIER ELECTORATE

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ABOUT THE BOVINE METROPOLIS POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE*

Q: What is a PAC?
A: A PAC is a group of individuals who come together to express their common and usually evil or insane interests in the electoral system (our's is more insane than evil). PACs pool the receipts of their radical members so that individual contributions have more impact on politicians who are greedy.

Q: Why does Bovine Metropolis need a PAC?
A: We don't, but did you need that last thing you bought?. Buying an election isn't cheap, and therefore neither are politicians, anymore. In my grandfathers day, for $500 you could buy a State Senator, or you could buy a Judge, Jury and a Coke. Nowadays, the average Joe can't afford to buy their own politician, but with your help, we will be able to influence the electoral process to help make for a funnier electorate.

Q: Don't PACs have too much influence?
A: Yes! That's why we want one. In the 1996 election, PACs accounted for $197.5 million raised by candidates who ran for Congress, that's 1û4 of all the money raised for Congressional candidates. For that kind of money you can buy a lot of funny.

Q: Fund raising scandals are in the news all the time. Aren't PACs involved?
A: PAC's don't cause scandals, people cause scandals. People with big mouths to be precise.

Q: What is the Bovine Metropolis Political Action Committee*?
A: The Bovine Metropolis Political Action Committee* is a grassroots organization which accepts voluntary contributions that are put directly in the bank. These funds are then used to make either to make contributions to candidates, political committees, or to help fray costs of the "lobbyist" mortgage, phone bills, dinner out, etc.

Q: Who can become a member in the Bovine Metropolis PAC?
A: People like yourself. People who want a funnier Congress! People who are kind enough, and smart enough to give us money without any promise of return.

Q: How do I join?
A: Take pride in your country and expand your participation in the political process by sending a check to: Bovine Metropolis, at 1527 Champa Street, Denver, Colorado, 80202 and we will do the rest!

Q: How much should I contribute?
A: As much as you won't miss or want back.

Q: Once I become a member, where does my money go?
A: Do you remember what I said about scandals? Do I look like I have a big mouth?

Q: How does the PAC choose who to support?
A: The PAC has a strict criteria to guide it's decisions. It evaluates a candidates voting record, legislative history, bribe potential and humor quotient over a very expensive dinner with wine paid for with PAC funds. Then decides to use the monies for "managerial expenses".

Q: Will I know how my money is being spent?
A: Most likely you will never be sure how your money is being spent, but we assure you that eventually it will be spent.

Q: Is my contribution tax deductible.
A: No. We are sorry about that. If we could, we would. I swear, but we can't.

Q: Can I give money to the PAC if I am not a U.S. citizen?
A: Yes! Like our Justice System, Bovine Metropolis PAC does not discriminate against those with money. HOW CAN WE DO THIS? Simple, We just guarantee that no monies received by foreign interests will be distributed to candidates.

Q: Can you give me an example of who and what you might support?
A: Sure.

Q: Ok. So who would you support?
A: You mean specifically?

Q: Yes!
A: Ok, Ok don't get huffy. Candidates we support politically and for funny quotient:
* Jesse "The Mind" Ventura
* Bruce Babbit
* The guy who wrote "Unsafe at Any Speed."
* Gopher from "Love Boat", not so much politically, but in hopes of turning the Congress into "The Love Congress."
People who we can't support because they are evil and aren't funny:
* Steve Largent (Seahawk, hawk, Republican)
* Rush Limbaugh (Did he fail Logical and Critical Thinking)
* Satan (Strum Thurmond)
People we wish we could support, but they just aren't funny enough:
* Al Gore
* Richard Gephardt
* Howie Mandell

Q: Can I get a full color, tri-fold brochure so that I am filled with a false sense of professionalism and quality?
A: No

Q: Well, how can I get more information about THE BOVINE METROPOLIS
POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE*?
A: Send your questions about THE BOVINE METROPOLIS POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE* to eric@BovineMetropolis.com


*THE BOVINE METROPOLIS POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE* a fictitious organization, taking real donations!