Ryan Milvenan

Ryan has a circle shaped scar on his lip from falling over with a pacifier in his mouth at age two. When he was eight, he found a tarantula in his backyard and kept it for a week, deciding that living in constant fear of its escape was no life to live. At age eleven, his first girlfriend was Ashley Tavener. He kept her for a week, ultimately deciding that Gillian Field was really just a more compatible lover. At sixteen he was escorted home by the police, because he thought that telling them his car was stalled was something that was "going to work". Math problems make him upset. He is allergic to fruit pectin. He has nothing to hide. He has no comedy experience per se, but he likes the idea that someone is telling jokes somewhere, and they are professionals at doing that. His biggest influences are the comic Garfield and his black tabby cat, also named Garfield.